I cleaned the master bathroom today

.....for the first time since Thanksgiving and I cried the whole time. I put Burt's toothbrush and his toothpaste away but didn't touch his razor or his shaving cream. The sink looks so bare now with just my stuff on my side. I feel like I'm slowly putting Burt away...... I'm going to get to the point, someday, where I don't see his "stuff" anymore. And that's heartbreaking. He was such a larger than life person.....

Somedays if feels like he's on a trip somewhere and will be home anyday. His pants and shirt that he wore a few days before he died are still on the cedar chest at the foot of our bed where he left them. His shoes are still by his end table in the living room. His glucose tablets are still by the bed.

His work truck is gone though. It's not parked in the driveway anymore. His cell phone is gone, too. So are all his medicines on the kitchen bar that were such a big part of his life this last year.

But the Christmas tree is still up. I know if Burt were here, he'd be complaining, loudly, that it needs to come down and soon! So I guess I'm just waiting to hear that voice, telling me once more, to take care of it.