Rainy days

Saturday Brian and April hosted their "annual" pig roast, and Burt felt well enough to go and stay for a few hours. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny, just right for playing outdoor games and relaxing under the trees.


We celebrated Burt's 63rd birthday Sunday, lots of family and friends stopping by to see how he's doing. And to top off a good day, the Cowboys finally won a game! BJ and Dani did the Mud Run in Middletown to raise money for cancer research. I didn't go so I didn't get any pictures but hope someone else took some! You can see them in online photos here.... they're the team in blue shirts....

http://photosbytnt.com/Events/2010/The-Mud-Pit/13952381_TrTbk#1025446355_mn42r

http://photosbytnt.com/Events/2010/The-Mud-Pit/13952381_TrTbk#1025450358_4B32J

http://photosbytnt.com/Events/2010/Finish-Line-Team-Photos/13947454_5WUUU#1024623300_oytz5

Another visit to the oncologist yesterday, he told Burt he needs to eat more and gain some weight. Kinda hard to do when you don't have any appetite. We find out tomorrow if the blood transfusions brought his red blood cell count up. If they did, he can take chemo again, a reduced dose of Gemzar. He will also be taking Tarceva (by mouth). Since he hasn't taken Tarceva before I don't know what the side effects from that might be.

He did feel well enough today to give the dog a bath! LOL Poor Alleyah, she hates baths but I gotta say she smells a lot better!

Transfusion done

Burt received two bags of blood today over a five hour period. That should bring his red blood cell counts up again. He is starting to feel the back pain again. We go to his primary care doctor tomorrow so we'll see if the pain meds are still working or if we need to do something else.

No chemo today

No chemo treatment today. We got to the office and they said his blood counts were too low (from last week's chemo). He has been getting weaker and now I know why. Tomorrow we go to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Hopefully that will get his red blood cell count back up. Whether he can have another chemo treatment is not known at this point.

At least we seem to have the pain under control. Some days he will eat and others he has no appetite. I am blessed to have such good friends who bring over food so I don't have to cook...LOL

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Chemo starts tomorrow

Time to bring back the big guns. His first chemo treatment is tomorrow morning. He will be taking Gemzar again, since he tolerated it well last year I'm hoping it will be the same this year. Supposed to have another chemo treatment at the same time, a pill called Traceva, but I haven't heard anything else about it. I don't know it they're going to give it to him there while he gets the Gemzar or what.

We are starting to manage the pain better with the pain meds but we need to be vigilant and not miss a dose. I find myself giving him a lot of back rubs, they seem to help a little with the back pain. Nights are hardest. When he can't sleep he tries to not wake me up, but I get up anyway. I don't know how many times I check on him during the night, just to make sure he's still breathing! His appetite is a little better, hopefully he hasn't lost any more weight.

Gotta go, he's calling...

Back to the hospital

Burt is having the port put back in today. In about an hour we will leave to go to the hospital. Having it done outpatient so he will be back home later today. Still having trouble getting the pain under control with the meds. We are up a lot during the night trying to make him comfortable but no position seems to work for long. Chemo starts again on Tuesday.

We have so many friends and family that stop by to see how he's doing, it really takes his mind off the pain for a while. Bless you all, our extended family and friends, I don't know how I'd make it without you!

Living with cancer, again

After having his 3 month CT scan done last Tuesday morning, Dr. K called and said Burt had fluid in his abdomen and that we needed to get it aspirated. The ultrasound/aspiration was done Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday morning we went to his regular appointment with the family practitioner. It was then that we found out that his cancer was back and that it had metastasized. The back pain that we thought was arthritis was not arthritis. I should have known. The pain had been steadily getting worse over the past few weeks and he was losing weight again.

We are stunned. There's simply no other way to put it. The last two CT scans showed no sign of cancer and all of a sudden it's in his liver, his pancreas (what's left of it) and in the lymph nodes.

How does someone go from being in remission for six months with NO SIGN of the cancer to this??

After seeing the oncologist this morning, his options are limited. He has chosen to go back on chemo indefinitely in hopes of stopping the cancers from growing. There is no cure for this terrible disease.

The biggest problem right now is pain management. His pain is constant and unrelenting. If we can get the pain under control he might be able to eat and drink more to regain his strength. He is suffering and I hate that. I hate that the cancer is back. I hate what it's doing to my family and the people who love him.

I live in the house of sadness. Again.