It was a good Thanksgiving...

It was a rainy, drizzly day, but it turned out to be a great day. With lots of help from our kids we managed to get everything done that needed to be done for dinner. Friends and family stopped by all day to see Burt and let us know they were thinking of us. They sent food.....oh my, we had so much food!

Burt was not doing too well in the morning, he was nauseous and could not keep his food down. We called hospice and they had us take a medication out of the Comfort Pak and give it to him and thankfully it really helped. I am glad, because for some reason, it was really important to me that he be able to join us at the table for Thanksgiving, even if it was just for a little while. I know he's not smiling in the photo, I think we caught him in a burp......lol....

I have to say we truly have a lot to be thankful for. On Friday, when we got the news that there was no further treatment for his cancer, Anna was really crying and upset, more so than I expected. When she had calmed down a little bit she told us we were going to be grandparents! The look on Burt's face was priceless, he was so surprised, and so was I. But we are sad too, because we realize this precious child will not have a chance to get to know his/her grandpa. It doesn't seem fair.

Burt and I have spent a lot of time just talking in the last few days, about where we've been and our life together, the people we've known. It's been an amazing life! He's been my best friend, my rock, for the last 29 years. I so admire his courage as he faces the hand that life has dealt him. There are moments when he doesn't seem sick anymore, like today, when he was up and rearranging the top shelf of the pantry. He even sent me out to do some Christmas shopping for him. I can fool myself into believing that everything is okay. Then reality comes back and I realize that he's really fighting for every second he has left. I am amazed at the amount of pain the human body can withstand. I watch him as he sleeps and I count the seconds until I see his chest rise again as he takes another breath. He's okay, for now.

Monday

Today Burt is home, we meet with hospice to discuss his care. They were not able to drain his abdomen Saturday, he kept waking up even though he was sedated. Since he was sedated we were not able to bring him home until he came out of it. At midnight he was still sleeping so we left thinking he would sleep through the night..... At 3 am the hospital called, he was awake and he wanted to come home. BJ and Dani went up to get him and bring him home.

I have to thank everyone for the sweet comments and the caring prayers you are sending our way. It just warms my heart to know that we have such good friends and family thinking of our little family. I will do my best to keep you all updated.

Friday

It's not good news. The CT scan showed that the cancer has spread throughout in the liver and there's fluid in his abdomen and lungs. Dr. P has been his primary care physician for almost 20 years and it was really hard for her to tell us the results. She said that we have two options. Dr. K (the oncologist) may know of other treatment for this late stage and we could continue the chemo or we could use hospice. We decided to wait for Dr. K's assessment of the situation before we made a decision.

Dr. K finally came in around 3 and told us what the CT scan showed and that the chemo was now doing more harm to Burt than good, so it's time to stop. There is no treatment for the cancer when it's gone this far. He said the fluid gathering in his abdomen can be drained, and once it's drained he will feel better and be able to breath better. So the decision was made to have the fluid drained tomorrow morning and then he will be able to come home. We will go with hospice as they can control the pain with pain meds, and someone will be there to help with whatever it is we need. I am thankful for this, I don't think I could handle it without help.

I am so sad that it's come to this, I think Burt still feels he can fight this. Hope springs eternal in our family. I have to thank all our family and friends who have stood by us during this trying time. We can feel the love in your hearts and the concern you have for each one of us. We couldn't have made it this far without you all.

The Thursday before Thanksgiving 2010

Okay........(taking a deep breath)...........here we go again. After Burt's chemo treatment yesterday he was vomiting so we called the oncology nurse and she said to bring him to the ER. His treatment that morning consisted of an anti-nauseau agent and extra fluid to help with the low blood pressure in addition to the Gemzar (port chemo). The swelling in his foot was noted and the oncologist took him off the Tarceza (oral chemo) in hopes that that would help with the lack of appetite and queasiness.

When we arrived at the ER, they took x-rays and an ultrasound and found he has pneumonia and 2 blood clots in the right leg (causing the foot swelling). He was admitted and put on Heparin to try to dissolve the clots and an antibiotic for the viral pneumonia infection. I had no idea he had pneumonia, he hadn't been coughing but had been running a slight fever off and on for a few days. Just shows you how much I know about being a nurse!

Today he ate better for breakfast and lunch and did keep the food down. But when his dinner came he didn't want it. Dr. K came in around 8 p.m. and mentioned he's concerned about his bilirubin levels, they are elevated. The bilirubin comes from the liver and we know that the cancer has spread to his liver and lymph nodes. They are going to do a CT scan tonight to see if there's a blockage in the bile duct or if the liver itself is causing the problem. If it's a blockage of the bile duct they can put in a stent to keep it open. He didn't say what they'd do if it was the liver itself.

The swelling in his foot/leg has gone down some but if the clot doesn't dissolve they will put in a "screen" in his groin artery to block the clot from moving to the lungs, heart, or brain if it breaks loose. He may have to go back on the Coumadin, which Burt didn't like as we've had problems with that medicine in the past few months.

The antibiotic seems to be helping with the pneumonia, this afternoon they took down the warning sign on the door and we don't have to put on the gown/mask when we go in to visit. But then again, they're not sure it's pneumonia or something else on the chest xray.

I will try to keep the blog updated as best I can. We are thankful for all the prayers and good wishes for Burt. God bless us all.

It's cold outside!

We've had a few mornings now when we get up there's frost on everything. Summer is over for sure! I've been busy scrapping with new papers I got from ScrapAttack, the Glitz Scarlett line and the Sassafras Lass Mix & Mend!

Here's Anna on her first day of kindergarten, waiting for the bus. How sweet the kids look!

And here's a layout of Dani and her Daddy, she was a stinker then and she's a stinker now! I love the colors of this Mix & Mend paper line, mellow and bright!

Burt didn't have any chemo treatments this week. He seems to be sleeping more. Just taking it one day at a time.