Dani is okay now

It's been a long, scary week. Saturday, we laid Burt's ashes to rest at Bethel Cemetary in Chesapeake City. It was a short ceremony, just family, as it was a very cold and windy day.

Dani was too sick to go. She woke me up at 5:30 am because she was vomiting. I gave her some anti-nausea medicine and told her to stay in bed. As the day wore on she wasn't any better so we called the doctor. He gave us a prescription for something else but it didn't help. Around 7 pm she was having pain in the abdomen so we called the doctor again. He suggested we take her to the ER, as it seemed like she might have appendicitis.

If you've ever been to the ER on a Saturday night, you know that it's a madhouse. Thankfully, they took us in quickly. Of course, some of the nurses remembered us from just one month ago, when we had been there for the last time with Burt. When they had trouble getting the IV started I just lost it. Too many recent memories of going through that with Burt. Dani cried and said she wished her Daddy was there. I know she misses him terribly.

Before long they realized she was bleeding internally and they ordered some tests. At 2:30 am they decided to admit her. I had already gone home as I was exhausted and couldn't think straight. BJ stayed with her until she was settled in a room. They ran test after test until they got the bleeding under control. She was finally able to come home today, under strict orders to rest and eat a bland diet for a week. She is happy to be home for Christmas and to be back in her own bed.

With this behind us, I am hoping that we have finally hit rock bottom, that the only way we can go from here is up. I am so grateful for all the support and love my family has received during these trying times. Bless you all!

We said goodbye

We said goodbye to Burt on Monday, December 13th. Over 260 family and friends were there to pay their respects and to see him for one last time. I could not believe the number of people who knew him and loved him, that had something to say about how he lived his life, about how he touched their lives. Of course, I knew that my husband was a good man, but to see it confirmed in the eyes and the words of others was comforting. For that I am grateful.

His friend Don joked about how they could watch a hockey game with their eyes closed. I can’t remember how many times I would go downstairs and find them both asleep while the game went on. They always insisted they were not sleeping.

His friend John told us of being with Burt the day he found out the cancer was back, how angry and upset he was, until Dani came home and he changed back into “Daddy”, not letting her see his pain. His family always came first.

Dani talked about the family rule Burt set, that the first time you come to our house you are a guest. The second time you are family. She said by looking around the crowded room you should know that he considered most of the people there to be family.

Robert said it was hard to say goodbye to his Dad because he was also his best friend. He spoke of how hard it was to work with him sometimes, but only because his Dad set the bar so high.

I find it hard to believe he's gone. We will meet again someday. Until then, I will miss him every day and every hour.

Je t'aime, mon ami. Reposer en paix.

Burt passed away in his sleep, Wednesday, December 8, 2010 with his family by his side. He courageously fought against pancreatic cancer for 19 months. He will be missed by his loving family and his many friends and colleagues who knew him as Bubba and Frenchie.

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Visitation will be from 4 - 6 p.m. on Monday, December 13th at

Hicks Home for Funerals

103 W. Stockton Street

Elkton, MD 21921

with a service at 6 p.m. Interment will be private. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the First Presbyterian Church of Chesapeake City, PO Box 299, Chesapeake City, MD 21915.

Une nuit difficile

It's so hard to watch someone you love slip away.

Thursday, Dec. 2nd

It's been a week since Thanksgiving. Burt had two great days of energy, Friday and Saturday. He did a lot of talking with all of us and rearranged things (like the top shelf in the pantry, the silverware drawer....LOL). It seemed like he was getting better! On Sunday we could not wake him up for any long period of time. People were coming to the house all day and he slept through it all. He got up around 4 p.m. when Linda and Terry came over and sat on the couch with them and went right back to sleep. We let him sleep because we thought he must have over-done it the last two days. He finally woke up around 8 p.m. and asked where everyone was. He could hear them talking while he was sleeping and thought he was awake. He did call everyone and apologized for not staying awake. What a day!

Since Sunday he's been sleeping most of the time, only waking up to go to the bathroom or to eat a little bit. He's lost interest in watching TV and hasn't watched a hockey game since Saturday. He's having trouble going up and down the stairs and getting up from the bed. Sometimes he talks to us and sometimes he's confused. It takes him longer and longer to answer a question. Yet we are grateful, for every moment.