No chemo today

No chemo treatment today. We got to the office and they said his blood counts were too low (from last week's chemo). He has been getting weaker and now I know why. Tomorrow we go to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Hopefully that will get his red blood cell count back up. Whether he can have another chemo treatment is not known at this point.

At least we seem to have the pain under control. Some days he will eat and others he has no appetite. I am blessed to have such good friends who bring over food so I don't have to cook...LOL

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Chemo starts tomorrow

Time to bring back the big guns. His first chemo treatment is tomorrow morning. He will be taking Gemzar again, since he tolerated it well last year I'm hoping it will be the same this year. Supposed to have another chemo treatment at the same time, a pill called Traceva, but I haven't heard anything else about it. I don't know it they're going to give it to him there while he gets the Gemzar or what.

We are starting to manage the pain better with the pain meds but we need to be vigilant and not miss a dose. I find myself giving him a lot of back rubs, they seem to help a little with the back pain. Nights are hardest. When he can't sleep he tries to not wake me up, but I get up anyway. I don't know how many times I check on him during the night, just to make sure he's still breathing! His appetite is a little better, hopefully he hasn't lost any more weight.

Gotta go, he's calling...

Back to the hospital

Burt is having the port put back in today. In about an hour we will leave to go to the hospital. Having it done outpatient so he will be back home later today. Still having trouble getting the pain under control with the meds. We are up a lot during the night trying to make him comfortable but no position seems to work for long. Chemo starts again on Tuesday.

We have so many friends and family that stop by to see how he's doing, it really takes his mind off the pain for a while. Bless you all, our extended family and friends, I don't know how I'd make it without you!

Living with cancer, again

After having his 3 month CT scan done last Tuesday morning, Dr. K called and said Burt had fluid in his abdomen and that we needed to get it aspirated. The ultrasound/aspiration was done Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday morning we went to his regular appointment with the family practitioner. It was then that we found out that his cancer was back and that it had metastasized. The back pain that we thought was arthritis was not arthritis. I should have known. The pain had been steadily getting worse over the past few weeks and he was losing weight again.

We are stunned. There's simply no other way to put it. The last two CT scans showed no sign of cancer and all of a sudden it's in his liver, his pancreas (what's left of it) and in the lymph nodes.

How does someone go from being in remission for six months with NO SIGN of the cancer to this??

After seeing the oncologist this morning, his options are limited. He has chosen to go back on chemo indefinitely in hopes of stopping the cancers from growing. There is no cure for this terrible disease.

The biggest problem right now is pain management. His pain is constant and unrelenting. If we can get the pain under control he might be able to eat and drink more to regain his strength. He is suffering and I hate that. I hate that the cancer is back. I hate what it's doing to my family and the people who love him.

I live in the house of sadness. Again.

Star of the Day at ScrapAttack!!

I was named Star of the Day at SAS with this layout! It's one of Anna's senior year pictures. The challenge was to use fabric on your layout. I had just bought some fabric to cover the bar stools in my kitchen and had some left over. I cut the big flower out using a chipboard template. Then I covered a small piece of chipboard with fabric and cut out the title.

Have had this picture of BJ jumping in the pool forever, don't want to throw it out because it's a perfect example of how hard it is to take pictures of him jumping off the diving board! He jumps so high I always seem to cut his head off!

It's hot hot hot here today but no one is in the pool.....go figure!

Crop at ScrapAttack this weekend!

I've been scrapping the weekend away! SAS is having an online crop to celebrate their fifth birthday and I just had to join in on the fun! Here's a layout of Burt's nephew Nico, who celebrated his 5th birthday while we were visiting this past June. I used Sassafras Lass papers from their Cherry Delicious line!

Here's a layout using old photos of Toby, our pit bull terrier. She just adored Aunt Gladys and was her usual calm self whenever she was around! These are the Max & Whiskers papers from the Basic Grey line.Brad decided to make his own special recipe for our burgers on Memorial Day this year. Of course I had to take pictures and scrap them! I used up the last of my Pink Paislee Starlight papers on this!! :-(

If you know my nephew Eric, then you know he's one crazy guy! The day of Nico's birthday party he went all out as a PIRATE for the kids......including beheading his Mom!Talk about old......these pictures are almost 27 years old! It's been that long since BJ celebrated his first birthday.....in 1983! We were at the Coastal Carolina Fair in Charleston, SC when his birthday rolled around. Luckily Mommom and Poppop were there to help us celebrate! These are Starlight papers too.

Okay, I still have four more challenges to do for the crop and I have until tomorrow night to finish them and get them uploaded. Here's hoping I get them done!

And a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Anna Renee today! My baby girl is now 26!!!

I HATE DIABETES!!!

As most of you know, my DH is a type 1 diabetic now after his bout with pancreatic cancer last year. If you know someone who has this you know how deeply it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. How much of a daily struggle it is to keep everything on an even keel.

Yesterday morning started out normally when the alarm clock went off at 6:15. DH woke me up, I got up and went downstairs to start the coffee. I heard him moving around upstairs so I turned on the news and sat down to eat my cereal. BJ left for work and Dani got into the shower. I went back upstairs to get dressed and saw that he was back in bed. I didn't think anything of it and got dressed for work.

After 10 minutes I thought he should really be getting up by now so he'll have time to eat and get ready for work. When I tried to wake him he would not wake up. I pulled back the sheet and the bed was just drenched with sweat! He had "bottomed out," meaning his blood glucose was too low and he was unconscious. This has happened before so I knew I needed to get some glucose into him quickly.

Usually I can wake him up and make him drink some juice or eat a glucose tablet, which will bring the blood sugar back up in about 15 minutes. But yesterday for some reason we could not wake him up or get his blood sugar back up. We had to call 911. I kept wondering why it was taking so long for him to come out of it this time. What was so different this time from the other times that he bottomed out??

When the paramedics got here it took a while before they got him stabilized enough to transport him to the hospital. His blood pressure was low also. At the hospital, within an hour they had him back to normal. Thank God!

I feel like we dodged a real bullet yesterday. What if I'd just gone to work without checking on him? I feel like I need to be more vigilant with what's going on with Burt. I need to watch him like a hawk to make sure he's okay.

I hope this never happens again. It's WAY too scary.....