Cowboy Heaven

Trop bien aimé à jamais être oublié.....

2011-12-08T09:15:00.000-05:00

Too well loved to ever be forgotten.

PurpleStride - Baltimore

2011-10-09T22:05:00.000-04:00

We were 1,300 strong today, walking as PurpleStride, raising funds for PC research. To say I had a lump in my throat would be an understatement.

Even little Joey was there, wearing a little Onesie that Anna put a picture of his Grandpa on.

Our t-shirts had a long list of those who have died from PC this year. A very short list of survivors. There's something wrong with that. It should be the other way around, don't you think?

My favorite "Mudders".....

2011-09-25T10:08:00.003-04:00

Here's a picture of my favorite "Mudders"......lol they are ready to run in the Mud Run in Middletown this morning! They are raising money for cancer research. This is their second year running and helping to fund one of the most important projects we have today..... cancer research.

There's nothing that says they can't have fun doing it!

Congratulations to my cousin Russanne, Thursday was her birthday! As a lot of you know, Russanne is fighting her own battle against stromal sarcoma. She goes back to the doctor tomorrow (Monday) and we're hoping for some good news!

And..... an early happy birthday to Burt. Tomorrow is his 64th birthday. On this day last year you were wearing your "Bubba's Bruisers" t-shirt as the kids were running in your honor. You were so proud of those kids. They are still running, in memory of you.

Love you. Miss you. Wish you were here.

What to do when Irene blows into town?

2011-08-27T16:09:00.005-04:00

What to do when there's a hurricane raging outside? You scrap, of course!

I wanted to work on the PageMaps blog card sketch this month and I finally got time to sit down and do it. Here's the sketch....

And here's my take on that sketch! I used Basic Grey papers (Origin and Max & Whiskers) to make the card. I love the earthy brown/gold/orange/blue shades of that paper line. On the inside I put "Party Animal" and will give it to a co-worker for her birthday. I hope she likes it!

I also had time to scrap some old pictures of Anna and BJ from long ago. Since I love everything Basic Grey, I also used the Max & Whiskers papers for this. The challenge was one from Back Porch Memories to use a grid on your layout.

Oh what to do now? It's going to be 24 hours before Irene gets done with us. I guess I can scrap some more until it's time to get dinner started... I hope all my friends and neighbors stay safe!

First Car Ride Home

2011-08-16T19:13:00.000-04:00

Joey is here!

2011-07-28T22:03:00.000-04:00

Joseph Jeffery Tichnell was born Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

Here I am with my very first grandchild. How precious he is! I can't wait to watch him grow up.

He took his first car ride today, when they brought him home from the hospital.

Tomorrow he will get to meet his new best friend, Kari.

I'm at a loss for words. I am so proud of my daughter and son-in-law. I wish Burt was here to see this little "Bubba", the newest member of our family. I think this little boy would steal his heart just like he did mine.

Waiting for Joey....

2011-07-19T22:01:00.002-04:00

I love that picture of Burt and Anna Renee. At only a few weeks old, she knew who her Daddy was and boy, could he make her smile!

Now Anna is going to be a Mom herself. We are anxiously waiting for little Joey to make his appearance. This is going to be one very much-loved child. I think we all loved him the minute we knew he was coming.

4th of July weekend

2011-07-02T22:10:00.000-04:00

Celebrated the 4th of July quietly today with our neighbors, Terry and Linda, and their family. We have always celebrated the holiday with them since we put our pools in years ago. Memorial Day was our holiday, 4th of July was their's and then Labor Day was celebrated at the Fosters (Russanne and Mike).

Burt always loved the summer and it's holidays. Any reason to get together with friends and family in the pool. I missed him today, he was always the life of the party (at least for me he was).

Say a prayer for Russanne and Mike. Russanne has been fighting her own battle against cancer since March and just finished up 25 days of radiation therapy. Mike's Mom passed away this morning at the age of 93. It's been a tough year for them. With both of their kids getting married in the next year, they have a lot to look forward to.

Lots of birthdays this month, and don't forget, Joey is going to make his appearance sometime this month! I can't wait to meet my grandson. Such is the circle of life....

Today would have been our 29th wedding anniversary

2011-06-05T23:01:00.000-04:00

It was 29 years ago today that Burt and I went to the courthouse in Chicago and tied the knot in a short 10 minute ceremony in front of a busy judge. I remember he introduced himself to us, mumbled a few words and then said "You may now kiss your bride". It was a second marriage for both of us and a new beginning.

Happy Anniversary Burt! I miss you.

Happy Birthday to me....

2011-06-01T23:08:00.000-04:00

Cards, Pandora charms, Vera Bradley bags....... a girl could get used to this!

My family and friends spoiled me for my birthday today. Took me out to dinner, had cake and ice cream, gave great presents, lots of wishes on Facebook..... I am blessed! I want to send a heartfelt "Thank You" to everyone who reached out to me today, you made my day!

Happy Memorial Day

2011-05-30T16:29:00.000-04:00

Let us not forget those who served and are serving our country. I am proud to say my Dad (Air Force) and my son (Navy) have both served in our military along with numerous other relatives.

Here's a picture of Robert with the Rear Admiral when he graduated

from Nuclear Power School in Charleston, SC November 2001

It's been a quiet Memorial Day weekend. We cleaned out the garage, which was hard, as that was Burt's "Man Cave" if that's what you wanna call it. I tried sitting out there last night to watch some TV but it wasn't the same. It felt strange sitting in "his" spot so I didn't. Closed up the garage and went back inside. The only reason I sat out there before was because Burt was out there. Oh well.....

We raised over $2,000!

2011-05-07T11:40:00.000-04:00

Here's our TEAM - BUBBA'S BRUISERS!

28 of us plus two dogs walked the 1.75 mile Pancreatic Cancer Walk to raise money for the Lustgarten Foundation. Every penny of the funds goes to research.

A big THANK YOU to all who walked, those who donated money, those who bought the T-shirts/bracelets. Your support means so much as we try to find a cure for this terrible disease. I think Burt would have been honored to see so many friends and family there.

Walking for a Cure

2011-04-26T09:28:00.002-04:00

Please join us on Saturday, April 30, as we walk for a cure. We are raising money, in memory of Burt, for research to find a cure for Pancreatic Cancer. As you all know, PC has deeply affected my family and our friends these past 2 years.

You can donate here - Pancreatic Cancer Walk

A big thanks to all of you who have donated, we really appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity. It's too late for Burt, but we can help others in his memory. Hopefully, someday, we'll find a cure for this terrible disease.

April Showers....

2011-04-19T11:12:00.000-04:00

April Showers give me time to scrap! The first two layouts were chosen for Star of the Day at ScrapAttackScrapbooking.com! I love trying new techniques on my layouts and the pleated circle is one of them! That's a picture of Corey and Dani at the Flyers game last month.

I got to use Pink Paislee's new Daily Junque papers for the "CamWowApp" layout. Photos were taken on Hillary's Mac using this new application that distorts your image and lets you capture it in a photo. Needless to say, they are funny, scrapworthy pictures!

Here's a picture of some of my co-workers at UD. They were all pumped up for Homecoming last fall and were wearing their best game faces!

One of my co-workers made me a set of calendars for Christmas with her stamps and really did a great job making them! I liked them so much I'm going to try and incorporate them into my layouts.

Here's hoping the rain stops sometime so I can get out and weed my flowerbeds. They are in serious need of some pruning!

March Scrappiness

2011-04-02T10:53:00.000-04:00

These 2 layouts were done with the Glitz Rhapsody papers that I received as a prize from ScrapAttackScrapbooking.com. Being so bright and colorful, it was hard to find photos that the papers wouldn't overwhelm, but I think I did it!

Cold, wet and windy days, plenty of time to scrap! Our church crop went well, I did get 9 layouts done! Can't wait for the next one, it was fun to spend time with other scrappers!

Dog park

2011-03-01T20:09:00.003-05:00

We took Alleyah and Kari to the dog park in Middletown on Sunday. Alleyah went into the little dog side and Kari into the big dog side. It was fun, although Alleyah didn't like all the other dogs sniffing around....

Here's a layout of BJ's Little League team when he was on the Senior Boys. They went to the playoffs in Havre de Grace but didn't go any further than that. July 1999......seems like yesterday.

I liked this pagemaps sketch so much I did two layouts from the same sketch! Can you tell?

I can't believe it's March already. I hope we're done with snow for the year and that spring comes soon. It will be nice to spend some time outside in the fresh air.

Anna Renee and Jeff are having a......

2011-02-27T22:39:00.003-05:00

BOY! I'm gonna be the world's greatest Grandma in July!

Scrappy Time!

2011-02-22T15:24:00.002-05:00

I've been scrapping over at ScrapAttackScrapbooking.com this past weekend, they had a Queen of Hearts Crop with 8 challenges. I didn't get them all done but I did manage to do a few. I am really loving scrapping my older photos.

This one is of Burt at Yellowstone. I used Little Yellow Bicycle's new Twig collection, which is just awesome! The papers are textured on one side and smooth on the other. The colors go great with this photo and the one below (Date Night). I love the blue/green/brown color combo!

The challenge for this layout was to use 4 photos, the color brown and handwritten journaling. I don't much like my handwriting (it tends to be sloppy). Again, the Twig papers go great with my photos so it was an easy layout to make! The lace flower was made by gluing lace ribbon onto a chipboard circle and finishing with a button.

I used the Basic Grey Jovial line for this layout. It's Christmas papers but you wouldn't know that just by looking at them!

And here's one of my faves, Sassafras Lass papers! Their Indie Girl paper line is just so easy to use! I had the whole collection and I've just about used them all up. This is Anna Renee as a 3 month old. You can see in the photo just how much she loved her Daddy!

Our church, First Presbyterian Church of Chesapeake City, is having their very first all day crop on March 5th! I hope it'll be lots of fun as I've never done a crop before (just online). I'm looking forward to spending the day with paper, scissors, and glue!

February.....waiting for spring!

2011-02-03T10:18:00.003-05:00

I finally took our Christmas tree down. We had lightning and thunder with last Thursday's snowstorm, believe it or not. Russanne said that that was Burt telling me to take the tree down so I did! LOL

I had a chance to scrap the other day and tried to do one of the color challenges over at ScrapAttackScrapbooking.com. I read the directions wrong and ended up with this layout.

Luckily for me, it fit the criteria for a different challenge, Scrap Your Stash, so I used it for that! If you're a scrapper, you know that your "stash" is constantly growing and it's a challenge to use old stuff before you use the new stuff you buy. Everything on this layout I've had for a long while so I was happy to use it!

I really miss Burt and it's a struggle some days to get out of bed. He has been gone for almost 2 months now. I am still working on getting all this paperwork straightened out and hope I am not making any mistakes with it. There are things around the house that need to be done and BJ and Dani are helping with those. I'm just going to take it one day at a time for a while until I feel that things are "normal" again (whatever normal is....). I am thankful for all my family, friends and co-workers (you know who you are!), who take time to talk with me about where I am and what's going on right now. I realize that everyone has some stressful situation going on in their lives and I am trying to put mine in perspective. I hope that reaching out to others who are going through something will help me deal with my life. We will see.

2011-01-25T22:56:00.000-05:00

I cleaned the master bathroom today

2011-01-17T12:03:00.002-05:00

.....for the first time since Thanksgiving and I cried the whole time. I put Burt's toothbrush and his toothpaste away but didn't touch his razor or his shaving cream. The sink looks so bare now with just my stuff on my side. I feel like I'm slowly putting Burt away...... I'm going to get to the point, someday, where I don't see his "stuff" anymore. And that's heartbreaking. He was such a larger than life person.....

Somedays if feels like he's on a trip somewhere and will be home anyday. His pants and shirt that he wore a few days before he died are still on the cedar chest at the foot of our bed where he left them. His shoes are still by his end table in the living room. His glucose tablets are still by the bed.

His work truck is gone though. It's not parked in the driveway anymore. His cell phone is gone, too. So are all his medicines on the kitchen bar that were such a big part of his life this last year.

But the Christmas tree is still up. I know if Burt were here, he'd be complaining, loudly, that it needs to come down and soon! So I guess I'm just waiting to hear that voice, telling me once more, to take care of it.

Life goes on

2011-01-13T22:44:00.004-05:00

We are all back to work and trying to stay busy. I can't believe it's been a month already! There are so many loose ends to tie up. I am trying to stay on top of Dani's health, she is scheduled for a colonoscopy the end of the month. Gotta get that girl healthy again!

I haven't been able to scrap but I did get a chance to do one layout on New Year's Eve. Everyone was gone and I had the house to myself. Usually we're in Canada for New Year's. So I pulled out an oldie but goodie photo and scrapped it!

Love that picture of Burt and his Mom, siblings!

Dani is okay now

2010-12-23T22:17:00.004-05:00

It's been a long, scary week. Saturday, we laid Burt's ashes to rest at Bethel Cemetary in Chesapeake City. It was a short ceremony, just family, as it was a very cold and windy day.

Dani was too sick to go. She woke me up at 5:30 am because she was vomiting. I gave her some anti-nausea medicine and told her to stay in bed. As the day wore on she wasn't any better so we called the doctor. He gave us a prescription for something else but it didn't help. Around 7 pm she was having pain in the abdomen so we called the doctor again. He suggested we take her to the ER, as it seemed like she might have appendicitis.

If you've ever been to the ER on a Saturday night, you know that it's a madhouse. Thankfully, they took us in quickly. Of course, some of the nurses remembered us from just one month ago, when we had been there for the last time with Burt. When they had trouble getting the IV started I just lost it. Too many recent memories of going through that with Burt. Dani cried and said she wished her Daddy was there. I know she misses him terribly.

Before long they realized she was bleeding internally and they ordered some tests. At 2:30 am they decided to admit her. I had already gone home as I was exhausted and couldn't think straight. BJ stayed with her until she was settled in a room. They ran test after test until they got the bleeding under control. She was finally able to come home today, under strict orders to rest and eat a bland diet for a week. She is happy to be home for Christmas and to be back in her own bed.

With this behind us, I am hoping that we have finally hit rock bottom, that the only way we can go from here is up. I am so grateful for all the support and love my family has received during these trying times. Bless you all!

We said goodbye

2010-12-15T21:36:00.004-05:00

We said goodbye to Burt on Monday, December 13th. Over 260 family and friends were there to pay their respects and to see him for one last time. I could not believe the number of people who knew him and loved him, that had something to say about how he lived his life, about how he touched their lives. Of course, I knew that my husband was a good man, but to see it confirmed in the eyes and the words of others was comforting. For that I am grateful.

His friend Don joked about how they could watch a hockey game with their eyes closed. I can’t remember how many times I would go downstairs and find them both asleep while the game went on. They always insisted they were not sleeping.

His friend John told us of being with Burt the day he found out the cancer was back, how angry and upset he was, until Dani came home and he changed back into “Daddy”, not letting her see his pain. His family always came first.

Dani talked about the family rule Burt set, that the first time you come to our house you are a guest. The second time you are family. She said by looking around the crowded room you should know that he considered most of the people there to be family.

Robert said it was hard to say goodbye to his Dad because he was also his best friend. He spoke of how hard it was to work with him sometimes, but only because his Dad set the bar so high.

I find it hard to believe he's gone. We will meet again someday. Until then, I will miss him every day and every hour.

Je t'aime, mon ami. Reposer en paix.

2010-12-09T08:18:00.004-05:00

Burt passed away in his sleep, Wednesday, December 8, 2010 with his family by his side. He courageously fought against pancreatic cancer for 19 months. He will be missed by his loving family and his many friends and colleagues who knew him as Bubba and Frenchie.

----------------------------------------------------

Visitation will be from 4 - 6 p.m. on Monday, December 13th at

Hicks Home for Funerals

103 W. Stockton Street

Elkton, MD 21921

with a service at 6 p.m. Interment will be private. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the First Presbyterian Church of Chesapeake City, PO Box 299, Chesapeake City, MD 21915.

Une nuit difficile

2010-12-07T19:19:00.002-05:00

It's so hard to watch someone you love slip away.

Thursday, Dec. 2nd

2010-12-02T21:46:00.002-05:00

It's been a week since Thanksgiving. Burt had two great days of energy, Friday and Saturday. He did a lot of talking with all of us and rearranged things (like the top shelf in the pantry, the silverware drawer....LOL). It seemed like he was getting better! On Sunday we could not wake him up for any long period of time. People were coming to the house all day and he slept through it all. He got up around 4 p.m. when Linda and Terry came over and sat on the couch with them and went right back to sleep. We let him sleep because we thought he must have over-done it the last two days. He finally woke up around 8 p.m. and asked where everyone was. He could hear them talking while he was sleeping and thought he was awake. He did call everyone and apologized for not staying awake. What a day!

Since Sunday he's been sleeping most of the time, only waking up to go to the bathroom or to eat a little bit. He's lost interest in watching TV and hasn't watched a hockey game since Saturday. He's having trouble going up and down the stairs and getting up from the bed. Sometimes he talks to us and sometimes he's confused. It takes him longer and longer to answer a question. Yet we are grateful, for every moment.

It was a good Thanksgiving...

2010-11-27T00:03:00.005-05:00

It was a rainy, drizzly day, but it turned out to be a great day. With lots of help from our kids we managed to get everything done that needed to be done for dinner. Friends and family stopped by all day to see Burt and let us know they were thinking of us. They sent food.....oh my, we had so much food!

Burt was not doing too well in the morning, he was nauseous and could not keep his food down. We called hospice and they had us take a medication out of the Comfort Pak and give it to him and thankfully it really helped. I am glad, because for some reason, it was really important to me that he be able to join us at the table for Thanksgiving, even if it was just for a little while. I know he's not smiling in the photo, I think we caught him in a burp......lol....

I have to say we truly have a lot to be thankful for. On Friday, when we got the news that there was no further treatment for his cancer, Anna was really crying and upset, more so than I expected. When she had calmed down a little bit she told us we were going to be grandparents! The look on Burt's face was priceless, he was so surprised, and so was I. But we are sad too, because we realize this precious child will not have a chance to get to know his/her grandpa. It doesn't seem fair.

Burt and I have spent a lot of time just talking in the last few days, about where we've been and our life together, the people we've known. It's been an amazing life! He's been my best friend, my rock, for the last 29 years. I so admire his courage as he faces the hand that life has dealt him. There are moments when he doesn't seem sick anymore, like today, when he was up and rearranging the top shelf of the pantry. He even sent me out to do some Christmas shopping for him. I can fool myself into believing that everything is okay. Then reality comes back and I realize that he's really fighting for every second he has left. I am amazed at the amount of pain the human body can withstand. I watch him as he sleeps and I count the seconds until I see his chest rise again as he takes another breath. He's okay, for now.

Monday

2010-11-22T08:46:00.002-05:00

Today Burt is home, we meet with hospice to discuss his care. They were not able to drain his abdomen Saturday, he kept waking up even though he was sedated. Since he was sedated we were not able to bring him home until he came out of it. At midnight he was still sleeping so we left thinking he would sleep through the night..... At 3 am the hospital called, he was awake and he wanted to come home. BJ and Dani went up to get him and bring him home.

I have to thank everyone for the sweet comments and the caring prayers you are sending our way. It just warms my heart to know that we have such good friends and family thinking of our little family. I will do my best to keep you all updated.

Friday

2010-11-19T22:20:00.002-05:00

It's not good news. The CT scan showed that the cancer has spread throughout in the liver and there's fluid in his abdomen and lungs. Dr. P has been his primary care physician for almost 20 years and it was really hard for her to tell us the results. She said that we have two options. Dr. K (the oncologist) may know of other treatment for this late stage and we could continue the chemo or we could use hospice. We decided to wait for Dr. K's assessment of the situation before we made a decision.

Dr. K finally came in around 3 and told us what the CT scan showed and that the chemo was now doing more harm to Burt than good, so it's time to stop. There is no treatment for the cancer when it's gone this far. He said the fluid gathering in his abdomen can be drained, and once it's drained he will feel better and be able to breath better. So the decision was made to have the fluid drained tomorrow morning and then he will be able to come home. We will go with hospice as they can control the pain with pain meds, and someone will be there to help with whatever it is we need. I am thankful for this, I don't think I could handle it without help.

I am so sad that it's come to this, I think Burt still feels he can fight this. Hope springs eternal in our family. I have to thank all our family and friends who have stood by us during this trying time. We can feel the love in your hearts and the concern you have for each one of us. We couldn't have made it this far without you all.

The Thursday before Thanksgiving 2010

2010-11-18T21:58:00.003-05:00

Okay........(taking a deep breath)...........here we go again. After Burt's chemo treatment yesterday he was vomiting so we called the oncology nurse and she said to bring him to the ER. His treatment that morning consisted of an anti-nauseau agent and extra fluid to help with the low blood pressure in addition to the Gemzar (port chemo). The swelling in his foot was noted and the oncologist took him off the Tarceza (oral chemo) in hopes that that would help with the lack of appetite and queasiness.

When we arrived at the ER, they took x-rays and an ultrasound and found he has pneumonia and 2 blood clots in the right leg (causing the foot swelling). He was admitted and put on Heparin to try to dissolve the clots and an antibiotic for the viral pneumonia infection. I had no idea he had pneumonia, he hadn't been coughing but had been running a slight fever off and on for a few days. Just shows you how much I know about being a nurse!

Today he ate better for breakfast and lunch and did keep the food down. But when his dinner came he didn't want it. Dr. K came in around 8 p.m. and mentioned he's concerned about his bilirubin levels, they are elevated. The bilirubin comes from the liver and we know that the cancer has spread to his liver and lymph nodes. They are going to do a CT scan tonight to see if there's a blockage in the bile duct or if the liver itself is causing the problem. If it's a blockage of the bile duct they can put in a stent to keep it open. He didn't say what they'd do if it was the liver itself.

The swelling in his foot/leg has gone down some but if the clot doesn't dissolve they will put in a "screen" in his groin artery to block the clot from moving to the lungs, heart, or brain if it breaks loose. He may have to go back on the Coumadin, which Burt didn't like as we've had problems with that medicine in the past few months.

The antibiotic seems to be helping with the pneumonia, this afternoon they took down the warning sign on the door and we don't have to put on the gown/mask when we go in to visit. But then again, they're not sure it's pneumonia or something else on the chest xray.

I will try to keep the blog updated as best I can. We are thankful for all the prayers and good wishes for Burt. God bless us all.

It's cold outside!

2010-11-05T22:34:00.010-04:00

We've had a few mornings now when we get up there's frost on everything. Summer is over for sure! I've been busy scrapping with new papers I got from ScrapAttack, the Glitz Scarlett line and the Sassafras Lass Mix & Mend!

Here's Anna on her first day of kindergarten, waiting for the bus. How sweet the kids look!

And here's a layout of Dani and her Daddy, she was a stinker then and she's a stinker now! I love the colors of this Mix & Mend paper line, mellow and bright!

Burt didn't have any chemo treatments this week. He seems to be sleeping more. Just taking it one day at a time.

Any Given Sunday.....

2010-10-31T21:44:00.003-04:00

Any given Sunday, here's what you'll see in my house......our family is die-hard Dallas fans and unfortunately this year......yuck! With Romo out for 6-8 weeks it doesn't look like Dallas is going to the playoffs this year. Not that they were doing any good before he got hurt......

I was chosen as Star of the Day at ScrapAttackScrapbooking.com with this spirited layout of my co-workers at UD! The photo was taken to show school spirit for Homecoming, which is this coming Saturday November 6th. Since the picture was 8x10 it was a challenge to scrap but fun too!

The other layout is one I did of the Mud Run the kids did earlier this month. It was held in Middletown and was a 5K through all sorts of muddy obstacles. Dani said she even had mud in her ears when she was done! It was for a good cause, to raise money for cancer research. The kids named their team after Burt (Bubba's Bruisers) and managed to raise $160.00!

Speaking of Burt, he is doing about the same. The chemo wears him out, he has to sleep it off for a few days and since it leaves a metallic taste in his mouth he doesn't feel like eating. This coming week he is off chemo so hopefully he'll feel better soon. He had a CA 19-9 test done and the numbers are still high. Normal is under 37, his was 5184. I know, I know, that's astronomically high, but considering his number six weeks ago was 5304......at least they're moving in the right direction.......down. We are just taking it day by day, rejoicing in the good days and trying to make the bad days pass quickly. Thanks for keeping him in your prayers.

Sketch 125 from Creative Scrappers!

2010-10-12T20:51:00.004-04:00

Creative Scrappers posted this fun sketch for this week and ScrapAttack is one of their sponsors! I loved the sketch and couldn't wait to try it!

I used some old Scenic Route papers that I had in my stash, thought they'd be perfect for this photo. It's a picture of Robert and Anna Renee from 1987. I think we were getting ready to go to church. They loved the Dr. Seuss book so I used that for the title.....

Chemo today

2010-10-01T23:05:00.004-04:00

Burt had chemo (Gemzar) today and also started on the pill form of chemo called Tarceva. After he was done we came home and he slept for 7 hours! I guess it really tires you out. I finally woke him up because I was worried his sugar might drop too low if he didn't eat something.

We will see this weekend how he tolerates it, hopefully it will be okay. He has another round next week and then he's off for a week.

I did get a chance to scrap a little bit this week, I'm so far behind on my monthly challenges at ScrapAttack I'll never catch up! I won Star of the Day with this layout of Burt and his brothers

Rainy days

2010-09-29T21:49:00.004-04:00

Saturday Brian and April hosted their "annual" pig roast, and Burt felt well enough to go and stay for a few hours. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny, just right for playing outdoor games and relaxing under the trees.

We celebrated Burt's 63rd birthday Sunday, lots of family and friends stopping by to see how he's doing. And to top off a good day, the Cowboys finally won a game! BJ and Dani did the Mud Run in Middletown to raise money for cancer research. I didn't go so I didn't get any pictures but hope someone else took some! You can see them in online photos here.... they're the team in blue shirts....

http://photosbytnt.com/Events/2010/The-Mud-Pit/13952381_TrTbk#1025446355_mn42r

http://photosbytnt.com/Events/2010/The-Mud-Pit/13952381_TrTbk#1025450358_4B32J

http://photosbytnt.com/Events/2010/Finish-Line-Team-Photos/13947454_5WUUU#1024623300_oytz5

Another visit to the oncologist yesterday, he told Burt he needs to eat more and gain some weight. Kinda hard to do when you don't have any appetite. We find out tomorrow if the blood transfusions brought his red blood cell count up. If they did, he can take chemo again, a reduced dose of Gemzar. He will also be taking Tarceva (by mouth). Since he hasn't taken Tarceva before I don't know what the side effects from that might be.

He did feel well enough today to give the dog a bath! LOL Poor Alleyah, she hates baths but I gotta say she smells a lot better!

Transfusion done

2010-09-22T20:01:00.002-04:00

Burt received two bags of blood today over a five hour period. That should bring his red blood cell counts up again. He is starting to feel the back pain again. We go to his primary care doctor tomorrow so we'll see if the pain meds are still working or if we need to do something else.

No chemo today

2010-09-21T17:13:00.002-04:00

No chemo treatment today. We got to the office and they said his blood counts were too low (from last week's chemo). He has been getting weaker and now I know why. Tomorrow we go to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Hopefully that will get his red blood cell count back up. Whether he can have another chemo treatment is not known at this point.

At least we seem to have the pain under control. Some days he will eat and others he has no appetite. I am blessed to have such good friends who bring over food so I don't have to cook...LOL

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!

Chemo starts tomorrow

2010-09-13T21:49:00.002-04:00

Time to bring back the big guns. His first chemo treatment is tomorrow morning. He will be taking Gemzar again, since he tolerated it well last year I'm hoping it will be the same this year. Supposed to have another chemo treatment at the same time, a pill called Traceva, but I haven't heard anything else about it. I don't know it they're going to give it to him there while he gets the Gemzar or what.

We are starting to manage the pain better with the pain meds but we need to be vigilant and not miss a dose. I find myself giving him a lot of back rubs, they seem to help a little with the back pain. Nights are hardest. When he can't sleep he tries to not wake me up, but I get up anyway. I don't know how many times I check on him during the night, just to make sure he's still breathing! His appetite is a little better, hopefully he hasn't lost any more weight.

Gotta go, he's calling...

Back to the hospital

2010-09-09T09:46:00.002-04:00

Burt is having the port put back in today. In about an hour we will leave to go to the hospital. Having it done outpatient so he will be back home later today. Still having trouble getting the pain under control with the meds. We are up a lot during the night trying to make him comfortable but no position seems to work for long. Chemo starts again on Tuesday.

We have so many friends and family that stop by to see how he's doing, it really takes his mind off the pain for a while. Bless you all, our extended family and friends, I don't know how I'd make it without you!

Living with cancer, again

2010-09-07T20:39:00.005-04:00

After having his 3 month CT scan done last Tuesday morning, Dr. K called and said Burt had fluid in his abdomen and that we needed to get it aspirated. The ultrasound/aspiration was done Wednesday afternoon, and Thursday morning we went to his regular appointment with the family practitioner. It was then that we found out that his cancer was back and that it had metastasized. The back pain that we thought was arthritis was not arthritis. I should have known. The pain had been steadily getting worse over the past few weeks and he was losing weight again.

We are stunned. There's simply no other way to put it. The last two CT scans showed no sign of cancer and all of a sudden it's in his liver, his pancreas (what's left of it) and in the lymph nodes.

How does someone go from being in remission for six months with NO SIGN of the cancer to this??

After seeing the oncologist this morning, his options are limited. He has chosen to go back on chemo indefinitely in hopes of stopping the cancers from growing. There is no cure for this terrible disease.

The biggest problem right now is pain management. His pain is constant and unrelenting. If we can get the pain under control he might be able to eat and drink more to regain his strength. He is suffering and I hate that. I hate that the cancer is back. I hate what it's doing to my family and the people who love him.

I live in the house of sadness. Again.

Star of the Day at ScrapAttack!!

2010-08-29T15:41:00.004-04:00

I was named Star of the Day at SAS with this layout! It's one of Anna's senior year pictures. The challenge was to use fabric on your layout. I had just bought some fabric to cover the bar stools in my kitchen and had some left over. I cut the big flower out using a chipboard template. Then I covered a small piece of chipboard with fabric and cut out the title.

Have had this picture of BJ jumping in the pool forever, don't want to throw it out because it's a perfect example of how hard it is to take pictures of him jumping off the diving board! He jumps so high I always seem to cut his head off!

It's hot hot hot here today but no one is in the pool.....go figure!

Crop at ScrapAttack this weekend!

2010-08-15T15:08:00.005-04:00

I've been scrapping the weekend away! SAS is having an online crop to celebrate their fifth birthday and I just had to join in on the fun! Here's a layout of Burt's nephew Nico, who celebrated his 5th birthday while we were visiting this past June. I used Sassafras Lass papers from their Cherry Delicious line!

Here's a layout using old photos of Toby, our pit bull terrier. She just adored Aunt Gladys and was her usual calm self whenever she was around! These are the Max & Whiskers papers from the Basic Grey line.Brad decided to make his own special recipe for our burgers on Memorial Day this year. Of course I had to take pictures and scrap them! I used up the last of my Pink Paislee Starlight papers on this!! :-(

If you know my nephew Eric, then you know he's one crazy guy! The day of Nico's birthday party he went all out as a PIRATE for the kids......including beheading his Mom!Talk about old......these pictures are almost 27 years old! It's been that long since BJ celebrated his first birthday.....in 1983! We were at the Coastal Carolina Fair in Charleston, SC when his birthday rolled around. Luckily Mommom and Poppop were there to help us celebrate! These are Starlight papers too.

Okay, I still have four more challenges to do for the crop and I have until tomorrow night to finish them and get them uploaded. Here's hoping I get them done!

And a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Anna Renee today! My baby girl is now 26!!!

I HATE DIABETES!!!

2010-08-03T20:55:00.004-04:00

As most of you know, my DH is a type 1 diabetic now after his bout with pancreatic cancer last year. If you know someone who has this you know how deeply it can affect your life and the lives of those around you. How much of a daily struggle it is to keep everything on an even keel.

Yesterday morning started out normally when the alarm clock went off at 6:15. DH woke me up, I got up and went downstairs to start the coffee. I heard him moving around upstairs so I turned on the news and sat down to eat my cereal. BJ left for work and Dani got into the shower. I went back upstairs to get dressed and saw that he was back in bed. I didn't think anything of it and got dressed for work.

After 10 minutes I thought he should really be getting up by now so he'll have time to eat and get ready for work. When I tried to wake him he would not wake up. I pulled back the sheet and the bed was just drenched with sweat! He had "bottomed out," meaning his blood glucose was too low and he was unconscious. This has happened before so I knew I needed to get some glucose into him quickly.

Usually I can wake him up and make him drink some juice or eat a glucose tablet, which will bring the blood sugar back up in about 15 minutes. But yesterday for some reason we could not wake him up or get his blood sugar back up. We had to call 911. I kept wondering why it was taking so long for him to come out of it this time. What was so different this time from the other times that he bottomed out??

When the paramedics got here it took a while before they got him stabilized enough to transport him to the hospital. His blood pressure was low also. At the hospital, within an hour they had him back to normal. Thank God!

I feel like we dodged a real bullet yesterday. What if I'd just gone to work without checking on him? I feel like I need to be more vigilant with what's going on with Burt. I need to watch him like a hawk to make sure he's okay.

I hope this never happens again. It's WAY too scary.....

Scrap Attack Sketch Contest at PageMaps Blog!!

2010-07-29T20:15:00.002-04:00

Seriously! Isn't this a great prize? Scrap Attack Scrapbooking is sponsoring a sketch contest at the PageMaps blog and is giving away some great Echo Park "Life is Good" papers!

Lauri always gives great prizes and I just love PageMaps sketches! So what better to do than try to do the sketch? I used Adorn-It papers for this layout and I just love how colorful it is!

This is Dani at 5 months, trying to sit up all by herself. These papers I used for this layout are from one of SAS's monthly kits!

July is almost over already!

2010-07-28T20:54:00.009-04:00

Here's a layout I did of Noemie and Nico with their Great Uncle Ray (Burt's younger brother)

This is my grandfather. He sent this postcard of himself to my grandmother in February of 1919 when he was in the Army.

Here's Burt & I in Gatineau at the Museum of Civilization where Eric works.

Jess & Chris were married in May and Amber and Tara were just beautiful flower girls!

Mom and several members of our church received their 50 year membership pins!

I can't believe how fast the summer has flown by! I have been busy working and scrapping, swimming and taking care of the family.....

Before we know it it will be football season again! Woo hoo!

And in two weeks ScrapAttackScrapbooking is having a 5th birthday crop! Come join us!

My heart aches for my cousin.....

2010-06-24T09:42:00.003-04:00

My heart aches for my cousin and his family.........to lose a child at age 24 cannot be easy and it was so sudden. May you rest in peace, Larry.

2010-06-22T21:38:00.002-04:00

We just spent 8 days in Gatineau visiting family! This photo was taken when we visited the Canadien Museum of Civilization where our nephew Eric works. You can see the Ottawa River behind us and the Parliament building on the right.

Burt got to spend time with his brother Reynald and brother-in-law Maurice. Nothing like a good cup of coffee to take the chill off those cool Canadian nights!

Noemie and Nico are growing so fast! Nico celebrated his 5th birthday while we were there.

We got good news from the oncologist just before we left, Burt is now cancer-free! Such good news, we are truly BLESSED. I know that not everyone who gets a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer has that good an outcome. It makes me appreciate everything even more.

I been scrappin'

2010-05-17T20:42:00.006-04:00

Have been having fun scrapping lately. Need to get myself in gear and get some layouts done because soon it's going to be so nice outside I won't want to stay in and scrap!

This Thursday will be one year from the day Burt had his surgery for cancer. I can't believe the year has gone by already. I am looking forward to many more years together!

See my layout on Sketches {by Tamara}!!

2010-05-04T19:26:00.005-04:00

I was so excited to be one of Tamara's Facebook fans and be chosen to do a sketch for her blog for National Scrapbook Day! She asked me to do a layout with my journaling in alphabet order. You can see it here

Meanwhile, over at ScrapAttack Scrapbooking I did manage to do seven layouts over the weekend for their NSD crop! Here's two of them......

It was one year ago today....

2010-05-01T22:10:00.003-04:00

that Burt was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It's been a long, tough year in which we found ourselves woefully unprepared for what was coming. If there's anyone out there reading this I have to tell you that there's hope. Things will be different but it is possible to beat this disease.

I had to scrap these photos, when Burt got sick we were looking forward to Anna's wedding in August and it seemed like the wedding was going to be postponed. As you can see, Burt pulled through and was able to dance with her 10 weeks after his surgery.

You can see from my layout below that Burt is still thin but his spirits are good. We are taking each and every day as it comes. We are blessed. God is good.

it's National Scrapbook Day!

2010-05-01T02:08:00.004-04:00

I'm over at ScrapAttack Scrapbooking and having a ball at their online crop! They have 10 challenges for us to do, we have until midnight Sunday to complete them all! Come join us at scrapattackscrapbooking.com!

So...... I gave blood Tuesday.....

2010-04-15T20:06:00.003-04:00

and decided to get tested for diabetes. Found out today that my blood sugar levels are very good so that's one worry off my chest. After seeing up close how diabetes affects your life I am soooo glad I do not have it. I see Burt struggling with it everyday, giving himself insulin shots, trying to eat the right foods and worrying about the number of carbs he's eating.....

PageMaps blog sketch

2010-04-08T12:31:00.006-04:00

Here's a new sketch from PageMaps that's so fun to make! I entered my layout in their blog contest for new Couture Cardstock! I haven't seen the new cardstock yet so can't wait to get some!

Here's the sketch....

and here's my layout....I used one of the challenges at ScrapAttack! www.scrapattackscrapbooking.com

That's BJ when he was around 4, 4 and a half, in Florida with Aunt Gladie. She was teaching him how to fish.....

And then here's a few other layouts I've been busy scrapping. Thanks for looking!

February is almost over!

2010-02-24T19:45:00.004-05:00

Looking for something fun to do? Please join us for a scrappy trip around the world!

ScrapAttack Scrapbooking is having Scrap Around the World Tour.......You will get to travel the world without ever leaving your scrappy space! We’ve put together 7 awesome challenges with the inspiration coming from all over the world. The first challenge will be posted on March 5th and a new one will be released each Friday at 9 pm EST.

Visit http://www.scrapattackscrapbooking.com for the full details! Tell 'em Sherrie sent you!

Final treatment!

2010-02-08T21:22:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow is Burt's LAST chemo treatment! What a relief! We thought this day would never get here! Thankfully it's not supposed to start snowing until sometime after lunch. We just got through one snowstorm with 22 inches Fri/Sat, now they're calling for another 12-20 inches......BJ had to use the front end loader to clear our driveway.

One of the county plows got stuck, twice, in front of our house because the drifts were so high. They had to call someone to pull them out....

So what do you do when the weather won't let you go outside? You scrap of course!!

Here's one of my favorite pics of Anna on her wedding day....

Of course, who could forget how cute Kari was when she was a pup?

And these were taken the last time I went to Canada to visit family, July 2007.

Oh, and before I forget, WELCOME Kailey Bryn! 7 pounds 9 ounces, 20 inches long! Congratulations Brian and April!

Last round of chemo starts today.....

2010-01-26T14:21:00.003-05:00

Burt did his chemo this morning and went to work, so I guess he's feeling ok. This is the last round! February 9th and we should be done! I can't wait! Here's hoping it's not too hard to take, it seems to be harder with each round.

So I had a chance to do some scrapping over the weekend and managed to do three layouts!

Another month has gone by

2010-01-21T20:57:00.003-05:00

And my Cowboys are out of the running for the Super Bowl.......boo hoo hoo!

On the home front, Burt has been to three of his doctors this week and all say he's doing really well. Dr. K said he has one more round of chemo (three treatments) and that will be it. Last day of chemo will be February 9th!! Then he will have to undergo another CT scan and some other tests to see how he's doing. So far so good! I have to thank you all for your constant prayers and good thoughts for us, I know that they have been heard.

Wow, it's been a month since I've updated my blog....

2009-12-29T10:28:00.006-05:00

and so much has happened! Christmas has come and gone, another year is almost finished. I can't wait for 2010, I am hoping it is sooooo much better than 2009 was!

We had a snow storm on the 18th-19th of December and unfortunately no one but the Foster's made it to our family Christmas party. My brother Buddy and Daniall flew in from LA but were stuck in at Mom & Dad's house as the snow was drifting. You know it's bad when you get stuck in the street in front of your own house!

If you don't recognize the two snowbirds on the right, that's Hillary and Dani mooning in the snow......it was too cold to pull the snow suits down but you get the idea.....LOL

The Foster's showed up for the family party the 19th, they didn't let a few snowflakes stop the party! Of course it helps if you live next door and can walk over!

BJ and Burt spent a Friday night/Saturday afternoon in December making meat pies. They taste delicious!

Christmas morning we all got to sleep in, we didn't get up until around 8:30. No little ones here.
Lots of gifts to open. Burt got a new Dallas Cowboy's jacket. Dani got her UGG boots. Adrian got the Blackberry she'd been asking for. Anna got a new KitchenAid mixer. And I got a new camera! All in all it was a very nice Christmas.

I got some scrappy supplies for Christmas from Anna and got a chance to sit down and scrap last night. Got another 2 page layout being made and hope to get it finished sometime today!

We did get a chance to catch up with some family members from New Jersey and New York when they stopped by on their way home from Longwood Gardens. It is nice to see everyone and catch up with them.

Here's hoping that you all have a Happy New Year this weekend! Jeff's birthday is Friday so we're starting the New Year off with a party! Stay safe everyone!

Vote for Kari!!

2009-11-24T15:20:00.002-05:00

I entered Anna's husky in the Hallmark Christmas Dog contest! Please visit the website and vote for her!

http://www.hhofdogcontest.com/

Scroll down to Cast your Vote and click on that link. Do a search for Sakara and then please vote for her! You can enter a vote every day until 12/15/09! The grand prize is $1,000 which we'd like to give to the local dog park!!

Here's the picture I entered, taken by Anna two years ago.....

Ain't she a beauty? We love her and Alleyah! Thanks for your votes! Don't forget to watch the Hallmark movie Sunday night 11/29 "A Dog Named Christmas"......

It's a struggle to get this under control

2009-11-13T20:57:00.002-05:00

Burt's sugar dropped suddenly last Friday while he was driving, he hit a tree and totalled the pickup. Luckily he was not hurt badly. He does not remember what happened. Last thing he remembers he was at McDonald's eating lunch. At today's doctor's visit they discovered a blood clot in his right arm. Whether it's from the chemo, the accident, or what they don't know. We go back Monday to see if it's still there, he may have to have the chemo port removed.

Here's hoping everything goes ok and it's gone by Monday.

Back to the chemo chair again....

2009-11-03T09:56:00.002-05:00

Today is Burt's first day back in the chemo chair after three weeks off. The drug Gemzar, one hour once a week for 4 months. Three weeks on, one week off. Hopefully it'll all be done by mid-February. He needs to take it easy and not tire himself out. Especially with all the germs going around now. Why won't that man get a flu shot like everyone else???

Visit with the oncologist....

2009-10-28T12:04:00.002-04:00

Visit went well! CT scan looks good, does not look like cancer has spread! Now Burt starts chemo again, the Gemzar, for four months. One day a week for one hour. Three weeks on, one week off. If all goes well he should be done by mid-February. Something to look forward to!

Radiation is done and over with!

2009-10-08T17:11:00.002-04:00

Burt had his last radiation treatment this morning! The infusion pump with the chemo bag was removed yesterday. I think he had his first really good sleep last night! No more wearing the pump and carrying it everywhere. Whew!

Now we have three weeks off before starting the next round of chemo. He has to get a CT scan and a complete blood workup before that will start. Mean while, we will savor the freedom of no doctor's visits, no treatments......time to celebrate!

A cause for celebration!

2009-09-29T21:29:00.009-04:00

Burt celebrated his 62nd birthday Saturday! We all went down to the SkipJack Cove for dinner. We were supposed to eat outside on the porch but of course, the weather would not cooperate, gave us a little rain showers. The old man looks good, huh? He's now officially a Senior Citizen! We forgot to ask for a 10% (senior citizen) discount on the meal.....

The kids all went together and got their father a CD collection of Oldies but Goodies, so when we got back to the house it was dance time!

A great day for everyone, wish those days happened more often, but when they do happen, we cherish them!

On a more serious note, tomorrow (Wednesday) Burt get's the last bag of chemo for the infusion pump! He has to wear it until next Wednesday and then no more pump! Radiation will end October 8th so we will have a real cause for celebration next week! He has two weeks off and then starts another round of chemotherapy, one hour once a week for three weeks and off a week. We repeat that one more time and hopefully....hopefully we will be finished with all this!!

An unwanted change....

2009-09-16T22:54:00.003-04:00

Well, I guess it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. Taking the radiation and chemo, Burt's sugar is now sorta out of control again. Dr. S today told him he needs to take shots of insulin to keep his sugar under control. So depressing. We have all the stuff.... pen, needles, vials of insulin, but haven't used it yet. I wish he had to do the first one at the doctor's office. They just told him how to do it and how much to use and sent him home. I am not much help, don't like needles any more than he does but I guess I'm going to have to learn how to give the shots in case he can't do it himself at some time....

He's supposed to give himself the shots in the stomach, but there's not much fat there so he may have to use the thigh. Can't use the arm because of too many veins. The needles are not long, maybe 1/2 an inch.

Tomorrow is day 14 of the radiation so he's half way through. Only 14 more days to go if everything goes ok. Once he's done radiation, he'll have two weeks off, no bag, no pump, no chemo, no nothing. I really think he's looking forward to that!

First week is almost over

2009-09-03T21:29:00.003-04:00

Burt is tolerating the radiation and chemo well. Since the insurance company didn't approve the pill form of chemo he's using an infusion pack for 6 weeks. It's a little pump he carries around in a fanny pack that feeds a continuous stream of the chemo drug to his chest port (like a mini IV). It's a hassle to have it on all the time, I was not sure how we were going to get him comfortable for bed last night. At the last moment, I brought a chair upstairs and we hung the pack on the back of the chair so he would not have to have it on the bed all night. The tubing is quite long and I did not want to get tangled up in that during the night! Or pull it out accidently!

The doctor's office decided that he will wear this 24/7 for the whole 6 weeks, no weekends off. The radiation he has during the week, none on the weekends.

So he's got 4 days of radiation under his belt, only 24 more to go!

Warning, tough times ahead....

2009-08-27T13:10:00.002-04:00

Burt has now finished the second round of his chemo treatments and is getting ready to use the "big guns" for the next 6 weeks......chemo and radiation at the same time. The radiation itself will only take a few minutes every day (Monday through Friday) but the chemo is going to have some risks and side effects. Right now we are waiting for the insurance company to call us, they do not want to pay for the chemo in pill form (Xeloda), they want him to use 5FU through a personal IV through his port 24/hours/day 5 days a week. He will carry the pump in a little pouch around his waist that will contain the liquid chemo, which will move through a flexible tube to a catheter in his chest port. He can remove that for the weekend but has to have it put back in every Monday when he goes in for radiation. The insurance company wants him to use that instead of paying for the pills, which are probably a lot more expensive....

They told us of the side effects of this type of chemo, blisters and cracking skin on the bottom of your feet and hands, nausea, diarrhea, fatigue, hair loss, mouth sores.....the list goes on and on. It almost makes you want to say STOP! But Burt tolerated the first chemo drug, Gemzar, quite well, he did not have many of the side effects associated with that, so hopefully he will tolerate this as well. Only time will tell. He was sick last night just thinking about all this, I have to say I admire the man. He's tough. If it were me I'd be curled up in a ball somewhere bawling my eyes out and feeling sorry for myself. I gotta give him a lot of credit, he picks himself back up and keeps going no matter what. That's why I love this guy!

Thanks to all of your who have included Burt and our family in your daily prayers, keep 'em coming! They are working and we just have to get through this rough patch (the next 6 weeks). After this round of treatment is over, he will have a two week break before resuming the last two rounds of Gemzar treatment. By Christmas hopefully this will all be a distant memory.

Scrapping is therapeutic...

2009-08-22T20:10:00.002-04:00

At least I think so. I have held onto this ultrasound that we got the 1st of May, this is the actual picture of that tumor that's caused all this trouble for the last 4 months. It's hard to believe that such a little thing can cause so much pain and suffering.

I am scrapping again! Sure feels good!

2009-08-22T09:32:00.005-04:00

After months of not scrapping I finally started again! They are having a crop over at ScrapAttack Scrapbooking website and I did a couple of their challenges! What do ya think?

Here's one I scraplifted from Peggy (Favorite Grandma)

Here's one of my Dad, he was honored earlier this year for having 50 years of service to our local Fire Company in Chesapeake City.

And here's one of my cousin's daughter Kayla and her bridal shower held this past May. Hopefully I can keep this scrapping fever going and get some more layouts done this weekend. It's supposed to rain so what a better thing to do than stay upstairs and scrap?

More wedding photos!!

2009-08-10T21:48:00.011-04:00

Mr & Mrs Jeff Tichnell!

Mr & Mrs Robert Fauvelle

Brad & Danielle

Sisters!

Heather & Dani

Photos Courtesy of Heather Estep and Chris....

2009-08-04T17:55:00.000-04:00

Photo of Burt and Anna sent to me by cousin Patty....

What a wedding!

2009-08-02T21:33:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it's all over.....what a wonderful day! After a week of rain with thunderstorms Friday night just before the rehearsal, the sun decided to shine for us on Saturday. It was warm, not too hot. Anna was a beautiful bride and Jeff was so handsome in his tuxedo. I am sorry I do not have too many pictures, being the mother of the bride I was too busy and the time just flew by. Friends have taken many photos and as soon as I can get my hands on them I will be posting them here!

The reception was held at the Kitty Knight House and after that the party really started at our house. We went on until the sun went down and then some.
They are now on their honeymoon and I hope they are relaxing because they certainly deserve it!

What a weekend!

2009-07-19T15:37:00.006-04:00

This past weekend was very busy for us, as friends and family took time to share fun times with us. On Friday, Mike took Burt, BJ and neighbor Terry to an Ironbirds game in Aberdeen at the Cal Ripkin ball park. Although it rained they still had a good time. BJ was called down on the field to participate in some games, and came in second! I think Burt really had a good time because he was exhausted when he got home!

Saturday afternoon friends we haven't seen for a long time stopped in to visit, Sam and Sammy Keenan from Florida and Grace Keenan from Wilmington. I did not know this but she is a fellow colleague at UD! She works for the Physical Therapy department in McKinley Hall. We've been friends with the Keenan's since the kids were little and are sorry that they moved so far away.

Saturday was spent getting ready for Anna's bachelorette party, the girls all converged on the house and set up the pool for a luau. When Anna arrived they took her out to the Melting Pot for dinner in Wilmington, they loved it! Especially the cheese and the desserts! Here's a photo I took of all the girls before they left....

Today Sunday has been a day of rest, cleaning up after everything. Dani and Brad are lounging in the pool while Burt is napping in the garage. Me, I'm keeping busy doing all the stuff that has to be done around here, don't forget the wedding is two weeks away! Hopefully the weather will co-operate and we'll have some awesome weather like we've been having this summer so far!

Tuesday, July 14th

2009-07-14T14:34:00.003-04:00

Last chemo treatment for the first round today! He has two weeks off until we start the second round. We were in and out in an hour. I picked up Anna's wedding dress and Dani's maid of honor dress and have them safely home. The weather is absolutely beautiful for July, cool in the mornings (60's) and just warm enough in the afternoon that we don't have to have the AC on!

By the way, I did find a dress for the wedding, so that's one more thing to cross off my list. I wonder if Anna will let me bring my camera to the wedding?

Sunday, July 11th

2009-07-12T19:36:00.004-04:00

Well, my baby is now officially 21 years of age! Burt took Danielle and Anna Renee to the Tap Room for their birthdays, as Anna will be on her honeymoon when her birthday rolls around August 15th. The waitress was kind enough to take a picture.....My how time flies!

Burt has one more chemo treatment and then he's off for two weeks in preparation for the wedding. He has been having trouble falling asleep and then staying asleep. His next round of chemo starts right after the wedding, August 3rd. We are all looking forward to this wedding, it will be fun to see all our family and friends for a fun and exciting event!

Here's a photo of them with the waitress.....

Wednesday, July 8

2009-07-08T21:05:00.008-04:00

Wow, today is 07-08-09! I didn't realize that until I saw it on the news tonight. Just after lunch the time was
12:34:56/7-8-09! LOL

Today Dani went with her Dad to see Dr. K, who is going to supervise his radiation treatments. They decided to give him two weeks off after his next chemo treatment so he will be feeling good for Anna's wedding on the 1st. He has one more treatment Tuesday, then the two weeks off and resumes chemo on August 3rd. Three treatments in August and then a week off. He will start radiation August 28th, every day for 28 treatments (weekdays). They are not going to give him the oral chemo, they will keep doing the port chemo once a week. So he will have that while undergoing the radiation. He may be done with it all by Thanksgiving.....

The doctor also said that Burt's chances are really good, most people who have pancreatic cancer and do the surgery and follow up are given a five year prognosis. But because his tumor was encapsulated (even though the margins were not clear) and it looks like it had not spread to the liver or gall bladder, he may be one of those few survivors whose cancer does not come back. That's why it's important that he do the chemo and radiation, to kill any of those cancer cells that might be floating around somewhere.

On a much lighter note, my BABY will be turning 21 Friday! Can you believe it??

Tuesday, July 7th

2009-07-07T20:32:00.004-04:00

Round 2 of the chemo treatment. Seems to go well, he's in and out in an hour and a half. We will see if this round hits him on Thursday and makes him tired again. Tomorrow we go see the radiation doctor, he will explain what we are going to do after these two months of chemo are over. I am learning so much about the treatment of cancer. It's never ceases to amaze me how many people around here have cancer. The disease does not discriminate, it's can hit anyone. No one is safe from it.

Anna's wedding is fast approaching! Only 25 more days! I really, REALLY need to go find a dress to wear! I was going to go shopping today after Burt's chemo treatment, but ended up cleaning the pool. With all the rain we've had lately we have some algae growing on the sides.....so I shocked the heck out of it and got in with the vacuum. Sure did get my exercise today.....

I have to go to work tomorrow so I can rest a little......:-)

I think the chemo kicked in today.....

2009-07-02T19:49:00.002-04:00

as Burt could hardly get out of bed. He had a doctor's appointment with the surgeon this morning at 9:30 and it took forever for him to get up and get ready. After we went to the doctor we were going to stop at the store and get him some new T-shirts, but he was too tired. So we came back home and he fell asleep on the couch. Slept there all morning, had a small lunch and then went upstairs to lay down. Slept all afternoon!! I finally managed to get him up around 5:30 to eat some dinner. Told him not to go back to sleep for fear he won't be able to sleep tonight.

The doctor had told us that fatigue might be one of the side effects of the chemo. I guess it's one we can live with. It's a whole lot better than some of the others!

Tuesday, June 30th, first chemo treatment....

2009-06-30T14:02:00.002-04:00

It went well today, Burt was nervous but really hasn't had a reaction to the treatment. He is tired, but that seems to be the norm for him nowadays. He winced when they used the port for the first time, so we got a prescription for a cream to put on his skin an hour before the next treatment. It will numb the skin so he doesn't feel the needle going in....

Tomorrow it's one month until Anna and Jeff's wedding! Yikes! I better start looking for a dress to wear soon!

Thursday June 25th

2009-06-25T21:08:00.002-04:00

The CT scan results came back pretty positive, there is no sign of cancer anywhere else in the chest or abdomen! He is feeling better now, bandages are off the port. We went to talk to a chemo nurse practitioner yesterday and she explained the side effects and what might happen. He probably won't lose his hair but will most likely be fatigued. First chemo treatment is Tuesday June 30th. He will take Gemzar for one hour. We are not looking forward to it but know that it's necessary. He is moving around a lot better now and doing things around the house. Here's hoping for a quiet weekend coming up.

I can't believe Michael Jackson died today! Burt met him the one time when they set the Falling Star ride up on his Neverland Ranch. Always thought he was "different", but 50 is awful young to die! I expected the news about Farrah Fawcett, after watching her cancer documentary I am surprised that she held on as long as she did. I hope both rest in peace.

Tuesday, June 23rd

2009-06-23T13:34:00.003-04:00

I hope everyone had a Happy Father's Day Sunday. BJ barbecued some sausage that Anna bought from Joppa Saturday and it was delish! Burt sold his Mustang convertible so he went out and bought himself a gas grill, he says it takes too long to barbecue now with the charcoal. We had a nice weekend with family and friends.

Yesterday it was back to the hospital out patient surgery to get the chemo port put in. It's just like his pacemaker, under the skin. He has been sleeping much better lately but last night was tough cause he can't sleep on that side for two days. I had to wake him up a couple times to get him to turn over, the port is in the upper right chest and he usually sleeps on his right side. He's getting tired of all the needle pricks and IV's and the waiting, waiting, waiting that comes with hospitals and doctors visits. It's a part of our lives now, no getting around it.

They weighed him at the hospital. In his birthday suit he weighs all of 132 pounds. He's never been that thin in the 27 years we've been married. (Well, you can't blame it on my cooking skills...)

Today it was back to the MRI place to get a CT scan of the chest and abdomen to see if the cancer has spread. More IV's and yucky stuff to drink. After it was over, we went home to let the dog out and then over to the Tap Room for lunch. That was nice! Now he's beat and is sleeping on the couch with the dog....

The oncologist visit....

2009-06-18T21:52:00.002-04:00

Today we went to see Dr. V, he removed the feeding tube, so now he's "tube-free", nothing hooked up to the abdomen anymore. He's happy, maybe now he can sleep comfortably at nighttime (and me too). Dr. V is happy with his progress, he hasn't lost anymore weight and wants to see him again in two weeks.

Then we went downstairs to see the oncologist for the first time. It seems that the margins of the tumor were not clear, they showed signs of dysplasia. Dysplasia is pre-cancerous cells. The cancer cells in the tumor itself were very aggressive cancer cells. There is a 70-90% chance that they will come back. So we are going to treat it with chemotherapy and radiation.

Monday he is going to have a "port" put in his chest, that will allow them to do the chemotherapy without using an IV and looking for a viable vein every week. Then Tuesday he will have a CT scan of the abdomen and chest just to verify that the cancer was removed and has not migrated anywhere else. Wednesday we meet with the nurse practioner to go over his chemo protocols. He will be receiving chemo 1 day a week for three hours. He will do that for two months, three weeks with chemo and then a week off. Three weeks with chemo and then a week off. After that session is done, he will start radiation and chemo. Radiation will be every day and the chemo will be by pill. Two months of that and then we repeat the first month of chemo only.

It makes me tired just to think of it.

The oncologist told Burt he has to stay active, he has to try to eat more and gain some weight. The pain from the surgery is diminishing and hopefully if this new prescription we got today for insomnia works he will be more rested when he wakes in the morning. His sugar levels have been great, he is pretty much eating what he wants, three meals a day. I try to get him to snack and he won't, says he isn't hungry. I am hoping his appetite returns soon.

Dr. Oncologist says he has a good chance to survive this. With the grace of God he will.

Sunday, June 14th

2009-06-14T19:15:00.002-04:00

Happy Flag Day!

Things are starting to get a little more normal around here, Burt is up and doing things (but no lifting) around the house. The only pain he's having right now is his neck, he wakes up during the night complaining his neck hurts. So I rub it with Ben Gay or get the heating pad out. He seems to be sleeping a little better, not getting a full 8 hour stretch of sleep but maybe 4 hours at a time.

We go back to Dr. V. Thursday morning, he may take the feeding tube out, we don't know. He will also check to see that his staph infection is going away. Then we go meet an oncologist, who will let us know what we have to expect next (chemotherapy, radiation, whatever). I think once we get that squared away we will feel better knowing what to expect in the upcoming weeks.

BJ and Adrian spent the weekend in Ocean City, it's the annual Volunteer Fireman's convention and Miss Fire Prevention pageant. Anna and Jeff just bought a new car! Another Ford Explorer, my favorite color, Candy Apple Red! Dani is hanging out with Brad's family this weekend as his sister just had a new baby Wednesday and his Dad flew in from Dallas for a few days. So it's just been the two of us here (and the pup) today and what a restful day it's been.

Thursday, June 11th

2009-06-11T16:05:00.002-04:00

Burt says he had a good night's sleep last night. I know he was up several times but he doesn't remember! So he felt rested this morning, but not me! LOL This Ambien evidently makes your mind think you're sleeping when you're actually sleepwalking around!

Back to Dr. V. today, he removed the second drain. Now he only has the feeeding tube in the abdomen. Not using it but it's there just in case. He did not say when they would remove that. His blood work came back that he has a staph (MSRA) infection. Dr. V. thinks it is in the nose from the stomach pump. So have a cream to put on that. The pharmacy is making a ton of money off us this year.....:-)

Biopsy report back from Johns Hopkins, there were cancer cells near the margin of the tumor but just a few (from what I understand). Will know more when we visit the oncologist next Thursday.

Off to the airport to pick up Mom and Dad!

Wednesday, June 10

2009-06-10T21:44:00.001-04:00

A good day today, Burt seemed to feel quite a bit better. He's still not sleeping at night so we went to the family doctor to see what he said. He gave us a prescription for sleeping aid, so we will try it tonite, see if we can't get a good night's sleep. I need it just as much as he does!

Anna went home today after spending three days with us. I most certainly will miss her, she helped so much with her Dad. Mom and Dad come home tomorrow, I hope they had a good time visiting my brother and his family.

Monday, June 8th

2009-06-08T22:12:00.003-04:00

Took Burt back to the surgeon today, over the weekend he was running a slight fever and the drainage tube sites seemed to be getting red and warm. His blood pressure was low, due to the pain meds he's taking. Dr. V. said he was doing very well, medical-wise. They removed half of the staples and one of the drainage tubes, which Burt said really hurt. Sent Burt across the hall to get a couple blood tests, he's awful pale. We go back to see Dr. V. Thursday and then meet with the oncologist to see if follow up cancer care is needed. Hopefully by Thursday we'll have the pathology report.

I really have to thank everyone for their support, their words of comfort and caring. I never realized exactly how hard it is to be a caregiver for someone you love who is ill. Just knowing you all care helps me make it through another day. I have not been getting any sleep as Burt is up almost every hour during the night. It's hard for him to get comfortable but we try. The kids have been a big help, doing whatever they can to get us through this.

Such is life.

Saturday, June 6th

2009-06-06T08:44:00.002-04:00

He's home! Very happy to be home but still weak and feeling the effects of all the meds and the incision. I am a nervous wreck, you know that I am not a nurse and really don't want to see anyone suffer. My daughter-in-law, Adrian, bless her heart, is studying to be a nurse and came over last night to stay with Burt so I could run to the pharmacy and get his prescriptions filled and get some liquid foods for him. He's on a liquid diet until Monday, then he can eat soft foods. They told us we did not need to use the navel feeding line. I have all the stuff and the pump and will not be using it unless he cannot tolerate food. So far he's been keeping everything down, soup, Glucerna, tea, coffee.....

A visiting nurse is coming this morning to check him out, that makes me feel better. You know how hard it is to get ahold of doctors on the weekends! The two drains are starting to hurt and he would like them to come out. We will see what she says. He still has all the staples in and the navel feeding tube. They took out the central line in his chest right before sending him home.

The dog has not left his side since he came home, she was all over him last night. Very touching.......the bond between them.

Thursday

2009-06-04T21:50:00.002-04:00

Another day in the hospital. Burt got to drink some coffee this morning and he was really happy about that! He is now on a liquid diet to see if he can keep it down. They removed one feeding tube today, he still has the one in his abdomen. His sugar was below 100 both times they tested today so he's doing well sugar-wise too. He might, emphasize "might", come home tomorrow. We just have to be patient and wait and see.....

Wednesday June 3rd

2009-06-03T20:52:00.002-04:00

I am sorry I haven't updated the blog for a few days, I've been so tired after long days of working and visiting Burt in the hospital. He continues to do well, they removed the stomach pump yesterday. So far he has managed to keep the stomach fluids down. Tomorrow they are going to try some food, liquid food, and see if he can handle it. He is up and walking around more and is bored, tired of watching TV......LOL. We have heavy rain and thunderstorms so I did not go back up tonight. I will visit tomorrow morning and through out the day. They are going to start taking the staples out soon, a few at a time until all 33 are out.

Monday was my birthday and my wonderful family and friends had a BBQ for me. It was nice to have an evening of catching up with everyone and relaxing. Only glitch was that Burt was not there. He knew about it and told me to go home and relax, he would see me Tuesday. The kids did all the cooking and cleaning up, what a surprise! I have a wonderful family!

Tonight my nephew Ryan graduates from high school in Wildomar, CA. Congratulations to Ryan for a job well done! Mom and Dad are out there visiting and will get to congratulate him in person.

I have to thank everyone who reads my blog for the kind comments and encouragement. We still have a ways to go with this and your continued support means a lot. With God's help we will prevail.....

Sunday

2009-05-31T21:18:00.004-04:00

Well, he was supposed to come home tomorrow but now it might be Friday before they release him. Dr. V wants to run some tests. None of the nurses knew why, all they know is that he's having a CT scan. They took the stomach line off the pump and are using the gravity method now. Still feeding him through the central line in the chest and the navel. He did walk around the whole floor three times today, which is good. The more he is upright the sooner everything in the abdomen will move back in place. He is not in any pain, the incision is healing very well.

I spent all weekend between visits to the hospital cleaning the house and fixing it up so when he came home he'd be comfortable. I asked if he wanted a hospital bed and he said no. Dr. V said he'll be able to go up and down the stairs so he won't have to stay in the bedroom all the time, as both of our bathrooms are upstairs. A nurse will be here to teach us how to use the feeding pump and how to keep the abdominal site clean. He can't wait to be able to eat food and drink again, but it has to wait until the insides are healed. We need to put some weight on this guy, he's all skin and bones!

Friday

2009-05-29T20:22:00.003-04:00

A little set back today. Burt vomited once or twice so they had to put the stomach tube back in. He had it in for 15 minutes and it pumped half a liter of bile and stomach acids out. That stuff was making him throw up. He's not happy about it, but it's necessary. It will have to be removed again before he can come home.

I arrived home after work to find a Medical Supply truck in my driveway. They delivered a food pump for Burt to use after he is released. They showed me how it works, hope I can remember what to do when it's actually time to use it! He will be fed through a tube in his abdomen until he can eat solid food. The pump is just like the IV machines they use in the hospital.

It rained tonite and on the way home I saw a rainbow. Another sign that God is watching over us!

Thursday, May 28th

2009-05-28T21:44:00.004-04:00

Surprise! The doctor said we could take Alleyah up to see Burt! He was soooo happy to see the dog! And she was just as happy to see him!

All the nurses came in to see her and just loved her! I have to say it made Burt's day so see her, it's been over a week since he's seen his "baby".

He is getting better every day. They are going to wean him off the central line and take it out. They are feeding him a little bit through the feeding tube in his abdomen. He can sip water but no food in the mouth yet.

Dani visited him during her lunch break and they walked around the floor. He's walking slowly but he's walking! Every day we are more encouraged that he's going to be ok. Keep those prayers and good wishes coming!

Wednesday...

2009-05-27T21:03:00.002-04:00

Another tube out! The nose drain popped out this morning and they decided to leave it out for a while. He may have to have it put back in tomorrow, we'll see. As it has been, he's been in good spirits, but he's a little worn out. Got up out of the bed several times today to sit in the chair. His blood pressure has been a little low so they hooked up another bag of fluid to his central line. Right now he's nothing but skin and bones, we need to fatten this guy up some when he can eat again! Dr. V told him they sent the tumor to Johns Hopkins for diagnosis, seems the lab here can't figure out what it is.....

Thanks for all your comments and good wishes, prayers. I tell him you're all asking about him. I went back to work today so didn't get to see him until around 3:30. Working tomorrow and Friday. Taking Mom and Dad to the airport Saturday morning, they are going to California to see Ryan (Buddy's oldest) graduate from high school. Way to go Ryan! Wish we could be there. And congrats to Kayla and Noah who are getting married Saturday, wish we could be with you all too. Say hi to Michael and wife for us.

Tuesday

2009-05-26T22:11:00.002-04:00

A good day for Burt. They are starting to slowly feed him a liquid diet through a feeding tube in his abdomen. They are still feeding him through the central line in his chest also. He got out of bed today and did a little bit of walking around the room. Can't go too far as he is hooked up to the stomach drain. Incision is healing well, have no idea when the staples will come out. Still haven't gotten the pathology report yet. Maybe tomorrow.

He's out of intensive care (ICU)

2009-05-25T16:16:00.002-04:00

He's in a regular room (247A) now and feels much better. They've removed all the tubings and lines and whatnot, now he only has two drains in the abdomen, the central line in his chest, and the nose drain. Dr. V stopped in today and said he's progressing very well. No news from the pathology department, tomorrow we should hear from them. I'm starting to think he's amazing!

Sunday

2009-05-24T21:04:00.003-04:00

Well, he is doing good but mentally he's struggling. It's tiring to watch TV all day in bed. Every time he falls asleep a nurse or doctor or technician comes in to check something. The tube in his nose that goes to the stomach slipped out an inch today and had to be put back in. That was not pleasant. Yesterday they took out the two IV's in his arms so that helps. The swelling in his hands and arms has gone done. He still has several IV lines going into the central line in his chest. Two drains in the lower abdomen. 33 staples! The incision is healing well, no redness or streaking.

I hope everyone had a good Memorial Day weekend. This is the first time in 9 years we haven't thrown our Memorial Day party for our family and neighbors. Oh well, there's always next year.....

An uncomfortable day...

2009-05-22T21:51:00.002-04:00

for Burt today. He just can't seem to get comfortable for long. He did get out of bed and sit in the chair for two hours today, that's an improvement. His hands and arms are swollen from all the fluids they're putting in him. He has tubes and drains and whatnot running everywhere. I saw his incision today and it runs from one side of the stomach to the other. He must have like 50 staples in there! The doctor's are impressed with his progress so far, he may move to the PCU tomorrow sometime. We have not gotten the pathology report back on the tumor yet. Probably won't get it until Tuesday now, as Monday is a holiday.

He's resting comfortably

2009-05-21T19:27:00.003-04:00

Just got back from the ICU, Burt is resting comfortably. They started to feed him through the central line in his chest, they are managing his pain okay. He will be in the ICU for a couple more days before they move him to the step down unit. He is awake on and off, cannot talk too well because his throat is sore from the ventilator. He was happy the hospital carries the channel that televises the hockey playoffs.....LOL. He will be able to watch the game tonight.

Short visit to the ICU at 11

2009-05-21T11:59:00.004-04:00

Burt is off the ventilator and breathing on his own! He can't speak, throat is sore but is awake for short periods of time and was happy to see Dani and I, gave us a "thumbs up". He said all five doctors came to see him this morning and let him know what was going on. He's very happy they got it all out, tomorrow we get the pathology report and will know if it was cancerous or not.

Anna and I will be going back sometime after lunch to check in on him again.